10 things WILL go wrong during Con Crunch

Photo by Octob

Featured image by Octography

Who hasn’t run into problems in that last week to Con, when time is tight and the corsets tighter? Best of luck to all those prepping for Katsu, and hope this list makes you feel a little less stressed.


1 – Your sewing machine breaks

You know that sound. The friendly whiiiiir-whiiir of your machine suddenly goes KA-CHUNK. And the deep animal part of your brain knows that your machine is in serious trouble.

aw yiss rolled hem

The worst part is when the machine’s death throes chew up your fabric.


2 – You run out of fabric

No matter how much math you do, sooner or later you’ll be shy of what you need by inches. Inches! Whoever said size isn’t important never had to ‘creatively’ piece out a ball gown.


“Mahm you cut this wrong.”


3 – Part of the Costume is Flipped

HAHA. HAH. We’ve all been there, right? Looking in the mirror and it looks fucking fantastic until you lay out your nearly-done cosplay and realise SHIT IT’S FLIPPED.


Mirrors lie to you. They do. Don’t trust the bastards.


4 – Cut yourself and bleed on something white

Blood offerings to the Cosplay Gods is a time honoured tradition amongst cosplayers. We expect it, and offer a silence prayer when the costume draws blood that it might be received well. And that the costume will be done on time.

Then the blood falls onto your white velvet.


This is when you know the Cosplay Gods have rejected your silent plea.


5 – Sew something to the wrong part

Whether it’s sewing a sleeve upside down, a fashion layer flipped to the wrong side, or just catching part of your fabric under the needle that SHOULD NOT BE SEWN. It takes time you don’t have to unpick your seam, and re-sew it more carefully.


“Your sewing is lacklustre. And you caught the hem under here for the tenth time.”


6 – Lose all sense of touch due to worbla

What is pain? What is heat? You don’t know anymore. You remember a time of the Before when you couldn’t pluck teabags from boiling water with your bare fingers. Now is not that time.


At least you can apply to the Men in Black now that you have no fingerprints. I hear they have Dental!


7 – Run out of primer/time/sanity before worbla is smooth

Prime. Sand. Repeat. It’s the mantra of any worbla maker. Prime. Sand. Repeat.


Prime. Sand. Rep- ARGH.


8 – The Wig/shoes/prop you ordered is still ‘in transit’ the day before Con

Just…. just get here. You’re in the city I can see it. Just. Nnnnghhh. So close.


I’ll come pick it up. Please?


9 – Forget a key piece of your costume at home

Was it the wig? Shoes. No? You’re packing and you know you’ve forgotten something just you can’t remember WHAT. You triple check your list. Then getting on the plane, or an hour into the trip, you remember. It’s the friggen shirt. Looks like you’ll be making an emergency stop at a store on the way to con then.


Photograph by Pitfire Photography

What do you mean I forgot the giant roseballs on my head? I don’t see YOU wearing any!


10 – Sleep or finished cosplay: Pick one

It’s okay to dirty-cry while you pull the all nighter you promised yourself you wouldn’t. “I’ve got this under control!” You said. Oh, how young and foolish you were.


The cosplay gods are cruel and unyielding. They are unmoved by your tears.


Get back to sewing. Katsu’s in 5 days!

xox Calamity

2 thoughts on “10 things WILL go wrong during Con Crunch

  1. Spit on the blood on the white velvet. I’m serious. The enzymes in your spit will dissolve your own blood (but no one else’s). It’s a rule in professional costume shops that the bleeder must immediately spit on any blood spots. Then a little hydrogen peroxide will clean up whatever’s left.