Photo by Lichon Photography at Takkakaw Falls
2017 is going to be one of those Years of Change. I can taste it on the bitter-cold January air. Change isn’t always good and it’s not always bad. Sometimes Change just… is.
This year I turn 30, and it’s kind of a big deal. But no, not because I’m afraid of getting older, getting wrinkles, or passing my ‘best before date’ (which as an idea is a load of crap anyways). 30 is Big because I had such a hard time thinking I’d ever reach it. With my health issues at such a young age my brain kind of went in the opposite direction from the usual teenage ‘I’m Immortal!’ thing.
It wasn’t that I thought I’d die young, it was less active than that. Instead I just Could. Not. Imagine. Life at 30. There was an impenetrable wall up that my brain just couldn’t get around. So I crammed as much life into the next thirteen years as I could. I dove into hobbies, school, projects. I did everything intensely. Writing, dancing, yoga, cosplay, if I loved something I’d do it as often and as deeply as I could.
Sadly this is not accurate for how to level up cosplay skills.
Needless to say burnout was a thing, multiple times. Kids, don’t be like me. Burnout is no good.
But, back to the topic at hand. Two months ago I was talking to my mom about all this, and it was like the last thirteen years all clicked into place at once. I suddenly understood why I’d tried to shove as much as I could into my life at once. I thought I only had those thirteen years to live and DO stuff. Then, in a car on a chilly November day, I realised that now there was so much more than just a decade and a bit for me to do stuff.
I don’t need to rush anymore, I can turn down opportunities because there’ll be time to make up for them in the future. It’s, weird to realise that, and I’m sure I’m not doing a good job of explaining this, but it’s true.
So what’s this mean for Cosplay Calamity?
I’m not planning on quitting, that’s for sure. I still really enjoy deconstructing a design and figuring out how to turn it into reality. I’ve never really been interested in the social media empire thing either, and that won’t change. Instead I’ll probably focus on fewer projects per year so I can give myself breathing room. I also want to get back into drawing, so that I can design costumes and put them up so other people can be inspired or make them. Just gotta shake off a bunch of rust from my art skills first, so uh. Might be a while before there’s more than just croquis sketches.
I… really need to get my scanner working again.
While I’d love to get into drafting patterns, that’s going to have to wait because of this whole ‘balancing life’ thing I’m trying to do.
I still plan to post here, and there’s a folder full of draft posts about cosplay culture that need finishing up so the blog won’t be going anywhere either. I just want to say thank you to everyone that still reads the blog despite the sporadic updates at times. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking into a void, or that I have no business talking about things with any kind of authority, but when I hear from readers that they really enjoyed an article, it encourages me to keep going.
I mean, I would probably still write posts and stuff, but I feel less like a sham.
Er. I mean, imposter syndrome is a bitch amirite?
Here’s some toebeans to make the new year start off better.
So. Rambling aside, here’s to 2017, and to weathering change! …and also to weathering your cosplays because that shit makes a massive difference.
…I should do a post about weathering.
*adds another draft to the folder*
Take care of yourself,